Jun 26, 2025

"Big Balls" Now A Social Security Employee

     There have been reports that Edward "Big Balls" Coristine, who had been employed by DOGE, had left employment with the federal government. Those reports turned out to be false. He only left DOGE. He's now a "special government employee" with Social Security. 

    It must be purely coincidental that this was announced the day after the Ways and Means Committee hearing with Commissioner Bisignano. 

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

He is a GS-15 and his account was created Monday 6/23/25.

Interesting that there is a hiring freeze - but an unqualified 20 year old can just walk into SSA as senior advisor.

Anonymous said...

Leland Dudek was the commissioner for a short period of time so all bets are off.

Anonymous said...

He gets a blank check to continue sabotaging!

Anonymous said...

Instead of getting angry, why not see how Big Balls can help you? He's a computer whiz kid. Last I checked, SSA was in dire need of revamped technology. I, for one, welcome Mr. Coristine aka Big Balls to the agency.

Anonymous said...

lol is this satire????

Anonymous said...

Whatever you say, Dudek...

Anonymous said...

GS 15/1 in Baltimore is $167,603. Not bad for a 20 year old, even if a wunderkind, with about six months or largely irrelevant experience.

Anonymous said...

May I have his extension so that I can transfer this ANGRY calls to him?

Anonymous said...

All you haters have done such a good job over the last few decades in managing this agency. It’s in such great shape with such efficient operations and great processes and technology. Someone comes in - whether a D or an R - and you stonewall them. Same song different verse:

“We don’t need your stinkin’ outside help or ideas, we are doin just fine. Nothing to see here folks, just move right along and let us be.”

Anonymous said...

BIG BALL$ to the rescue!

Frank Bisignano, the newly confirmed commissioner of the Social Security Administration (SSA), told lawmakers on Wednesday afternoon that his agency is keeping Americans’ sensitive data safe, and he laid out the agency’s technology agenda to improve customer service.

During a joint hearing held by the House Ways and Means Committee’s Social Security Subcommittee and Work and Welfare Subcommittee, several lawmakers raised concerns over the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) having access to Americans’ personal data at SSA.

The issue made its way to the Supreme Court, which issued a ruling earlier this month that granted DOGE unfettered access to sensitive data held by the SSA.

Bisignano, however, assured lawmakers that Americans’ personally identifiable information (PII) “is safe.”

“Social Security has always had a high level of security over PII, and I’ve overviewed it,” Bisignano said. “I’d like to say I spent my career protecting PII in the largest financial institutions, and so we have very strong protocols on access to it and very tight security around it. I feel very, very comfortable that our PII is protected well.”

When asked by Rep. Richard Neal, D-Mass., if DOGE employees have access to any sensitive information, Bisignano replied: “No, sir.”

Anonymous said...

The very best people are willing to work with anyone to help the agency. There are very few left, though, unfortunately. They are being thrown through the wringer with competing priorities at the moment. Triage is necessary to get anything done.

Anonymous said...

If you google a photo of him, well... lets just say the very least he could do is wear pants to work...those shorts and the upper part of a suit just doesn't scream "I'm gonna fix this!!". More than likely screams "Mom forgot to put my pants on today!!". *eye roll*.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone know if he’s actually on campus or attending meetings etc?

Anonymous said...

Yes he’s been seen in the RMB building.

Anonymous said...

Welcome BIG Ball$ to the SSA family. .

Multiple sources at the SSA tell WIRED that Coristine has appeared in person to work on site at the agency’s Woodlawn Maryland headquarters. One SSA
employee says they say they saw Coristine with DOGE engineer Aram Moghaddassi. They were spotted at the SSA cafeteria.

Anonymous said...

This is true. Everyone I know has had a terrible experience with SSA. We’re slow and sloppy. Unless a regional person gets involved it all stalls out at the field or payment center.

Anonymous said...

Frankenstein and his pal Big Ball$ are making sure everyone's PII is safe...with Peter Thiel and Palantir...

Anonymous said...

He hasn’t even been of working age long enough to have qualifying time in the workforce to meet the requirements for a GS-15 position. Where the f**k is Congress? Where the f**k is OPM? And where the f**k is SSA’s HR office?

Anonymous said...

All angry calls need to be forwarded to BIG BALL$ at the SSA headquarters cafeteria.

Anonymous said...

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/elon-musk-s-protege-big-balls-is-grandson-of-executed-kgb-agent-report-says-b2703739.html

Anonymous said...

I’m sorry but have you seen the “highly” qualified cabinet members of the clown show running our country? I’m surprised he moved up the tanks so quickly since he never worked for Fox News.

Anonymous said...

BIG BALL$ Is on a top secret assignment.

The Social Security Administration said Thursday that it had hired Edward Coristine, the 19-year-old nicknamed “Big Balls” who the White House said earlier in the week had left the Trump administration.

Coristine joined the Social Security Administration this week as a special government employee, a type of temporary position with relatively few disclosure obligations, the benefits agency said.

Anonymous said...

I believe BIG BALL$ resume more than justifies his Gs-15 pay grade.

He graduated from high school in Rye, N.Y., last year and was enrolled as an engineering student at Northeastern University when he was hired by DOGE. He had previously interned at a data security firm, but was fired after an investigation into the leaking of internal information. He had also briefly interned at Neuralink, the Musk company that is developing brain implants.

He appeared in a Fox News segment that aired in May on Mr. Musk and his team. The host, Jesse Watters, asked, “Who is Big Balls?” Mr. Musk said, “That should be obvious,” as Mr. Coristine raised his hand.

“I just set it as my LinkedIn username,” Mr. Coristine said of the pseudonym. “People on LinkedIn take themselves, like, super seriously and are adverse to risks. And I was like, well, I want to be neither of those things.”
The moniker even got a mention on “Saturday Night Live.”

Anonymous said...

Aside from being a raging loser who spends too much time, what exactly are this dork’s “qualifications.”

Anonymous said...

As a “Special Government Employee”, he does not get locality pay. His GS15/1 is more like $125K. Still a lot, but done based on their skills/knowledge. A large number of DOGE folks are temporary appointments.

Anonymous said...

Also interesting that he doesn’t even meet the minimum educational requirements for a GS-15

Anonymous said...

No SSA employee thinks any of these DOGE people will save or help SSA. They are here to sabotage!!

Anonymous said...

They’ve all been rif’ed, forked or retired…

Anonymous said...

Aran isn’t just an engineer he is the new Chief Information Officer.

Anonymous said...

File a report to GAO, https://www.gao.gov/ig .

Anonymous said...

According to whom 8:34 AM?