I deal with a lot of clients with psychiatric illness. Most Social Security and Disability Determination employees deal with the same mix of claimants. The piece below has been around for years. It may be a bit insensitive but it's funny.
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER:
Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
DEMENTIA:
I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas
DEPRESSION:
Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely.
MANIC:
Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and
Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants
and...
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER:
We Three Queens Disoriented Are
NARCISSISTIC:
Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER:
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle
Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell
Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,............(better
start again)
PARANOID:
Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me.
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY:
On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all
away).
PERSONALITY DISORDER:
You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why.
SCHIZOPHRENIA:
Do you Hear What I Hear?
Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
DEMENTIA:
I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas
DEPRESSION:
Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely.
MANIC:
Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER:
We Three Queens Disoriented Are
NARCISSISTIC:
Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER:
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,............(better start again)
PARANOID:
Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me.
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY:
On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).
PERSONALITY DISORDER:
You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why.
SCHIZOPHRENIA:
Do you Hear What I Hear?